Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Zombie Nightmare


"Maybe he had a good batting average, Frank" - This said by police chief to young cop after someone is found impaled by a baseball bat.

Zombie Nightmare is one of those films that one loves to sit up late and pick at on some drunken Saturday night. Tony is a huge guy. He's a muscle bound Samson type guy with long straight hair, dressed in his joggers and cut off tee-shirt. He forgets to pick up his mother's groceries. She soon sends him back to the store with that 'look at my son. He's the man' look in her eyes. A proud mama indeed. She has every reason to be proud. He can hit a softball with the best of 'em.

Anyway, it seems as if going back to the store would soon turn into quiet an eventful evening. Tony breaks up a robbery by single handedly busting up two would be robbers from taking the old mans money. As if this wasn't enough, upon leaving the store premises, he's ran over by a bunch of drugged and drunk teenagers, hellbent on disaster. The teenage crew, led by a mullet wearing pussy named Jimbo, rev the engine, leaving poor old Tony's mangled body lying on the damp cold pavement. For some odd reason, instead of calling the ambulance, or the police, the store-owner and a couple friends bring Tony back to his mother's house, carrying him in a blanket. The mother freaks out, as usual, deriving those desperate intentions that were once just fairy tale.
It's not long before we figure out Mom has a plan. There just so happens to be a voo doo priestess who lives nearby, who seems to be a friend of the families. She's brought to where Tony's body lies and requests that one of the group go to the butchers shop and bring back blood from a live animal. Mmmmm, things are starting to get interesting.
Zombie Nightmare shoots itself in the foot on purpose, blatently doing the bunny hop all the way till the end. Usually, self inflicted wounds are not a good thing, but, for Zombie Nightmare, a shot in the toe is just what it needed.
Molly Mokembe (played marvelously AND hilariously by Mansuka) places our fallen Tony in a makeshift casket, candles all around, spouting out some voo doo claptrap while decked out in here papa shango attire. We soon learn that Molly can indeed bring Tony back for awhile, but only long enough for him to be able to avenge his death by hunting down the people who caused it.
What we get is a hulked out zombie in a sweat suit, carrying around a baseball bat. This hulking dead man seemingly walks around this small town, without anyone seeing him, bashing people with his baseball bat. Evidently, this zombie is a vegan, 'cause he doesn't eat nary a limb through the whole movie. Shouldn't there be at least a little gore with a premise like this? A slasher/zombie epic such as this? Yeah, right. Anyway, the highlights of the film involve Adam West (Yes, Batman) non-shalantly passing off these 'gruesome' deaths as apparent suicides, caused by marijuana and rock music. Of course, the rookie cop digs a little deeper, finds a few hidden secrets, and it's ultimately a 'twist' of good versus evil, with an extra person to fill in the holes. CHEESE. CHEESE. CHEESE.
I gotta mention Mansuka's performance again. Let me put it this way....you'll never forget it as long as you live. Jimbo, the long haired rapist punk of the group is one of the most annoying, but strangely likeable characters I've ever seen.
Watch it simply because it is what it is....a cheese fest meant to entertain you a little. It's not scary. It's not atmospheric, although the 80's metal tunes do up the ante a little. John Mikel Thor does do as decent job as Tony, but he had better stick to his singing.

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